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Friday, July 29, 2011

The Love Life of Dave McGraw

Dave McGraw is everything a girl could want, outgoing, handsomely dressed, overconfident, and a total ass. He is the perfect man. He works at Van Delay Industries (an import export company of small consequence) as their regional director. It is odd that they should need a regional director, since they are only in one city presently, but I reckon Dave needs a job. Sarah Schnopp also needs a job, so she is Dave’s secretary. She however, is nothing. She is clumsy, self doubting, underperfumed, and very sweet and kind. She is everything a man wants nothing to do with.

Will today be the day? Sarah wondered. No. She would not spend the courage to talk to Dave, really talk to him.

They did talk over many lunches, about deep things too, but he never seemed to notice her interest in him. This particular Friday was no exception.

Dave leaned comfortably against a cold, smooth, grey cabinet as Sarah held a folder or two in front of her. He was wearing a teal dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up, his clean, stubbly beard made his smile look even wider than it already did. She was wearing a black sweater over a white blouse, with grey pants. Her dull brown hair was lightly frizzled. “Sarah,” he said with what she thought was a special smile, “you’re the best. I don’t know what I’d do without you, especially since we started shipping that new latex bathroom tissue.”

“Well, I think you’re great too.”

“Really?” He got excited.

“Dave, I…”

“The prettiest girl in the world!”


Karolyn Brooks walked in. She was Dave’s girlfriend (though she’s not so much marriage material as kennel material). When she walked in wearing her tight, black business suit, Dave seemed to forget that Sarah was still standing there mid sentence. Dave and Karolyn chatted for a few minutes, then Karolyn excused herself.

There was an awkward silence for a minute, Dave looked around almost reluctantly and said “Sarah, could I ask you something?”

“Anything, what.”

“Well, this is awkward I know, my girlfriend's here and all, I have to ask,” This is it she thought. He was interrupted before, but now he’ll ask. “Would you mind fetching us coffee? Karolyn likes hers black. I’d really appreciate it.”

“Sure,” she said with a smile, while she thought of dumping hot coffee on the two lovebirds. She sang to herself “Why can’t you see-e-e, you belong with me-e-e.”

As Karolyn and Dave were chatting and laughing, Sarah was picking through receiving reports and talking to herself. “I’m just not the type of girl guys notice. Dave wouldn’t notice if I were on fire. I can’t keep thinking that everybody else will change for me. I should be the kind of girl that he likes: a normal one. There’s nothing wrong with changing yourself, if the changes are good.”

Over the weekend, Sarah had a makeover for Dave, and Dave had a makeover for Karolyn. Karolyn didn't need a makover.

That Friday evening, as Karolyn was shaving Dave’s back (their ritual for Friday nights), she said “I love that cologne your wearing.”

“I do it for you, babe.”

“Thank you; you really love me, don’t you?”

“Of course, babe.”

“How much?”

“Uh-oh,” he said playfully.

Meanwhile, Sarah was at her apartment, looking at pictures of beautiful actresses and models. She was hoping to get an inspiration.

“My beard?” said Dave.

“It’s just so prickly when we kiss,” said Karolyn.

“I’ve had this beard since I was 16.”

“It’s honestly not that big a deal.”

On Saturday, Dave, went antiquing with Karolyn, sans the beard (you see, he did love her), while Sarah went shopping with her two sisters for a new wardrobe.

“I like this new look of yours,” said the three. Karolyn to Dave and Sarah’s sisters to her.

“I didn’t think I would, but I do like it now.” Sarah and Dave replied in their respective places so far apart.

“I’ve been changing a lot for you, and I like who I’m becoming,” said Dave.

“I don’t like who I’ve become,” said Sarah; “I’m going to do a lot of changing.”

“You should shave your chest,” said Karolyn.

“You should get blond highlights,” said the sisters.

*          *          *

On Sunday, Dave and Karolyn went to the beach while Sarah had her hair and nails done. Dave waited till they were at the beach to change into his swim suit, so he went into the bathroom as Karolyn waited impatiently. When he came out, he was completely hairless. He had shaved not only his back and face, but his head, chest, and even his legs. Karolyn was shocked; she did not know how to react. What happened?

“What do you think?”

“You shaved.”

“I shaved everything, head to toe, everything.”

Dave’s arms were outstretched for a hug, but Karolyn was appalled. She did not like what Dave had done, what he had become. She told him they should evaluate their relationship, and she went home to think it over. Dave was confused; he spent the day crying.

On Monday, when Dave returned to work, he found the answer to his problems: Sarah walked in. She was wearing a tight-fitting, black skirt and blouse, lip gloss, perfume, and even blond highlights.

“Sarah? You look…amazing!” said Dave. “I can’t believe I was so stupid. Sarah, I’ve been treating you so poorly. I just couldn't see what was right in front of my eyes; You were the one all along. You’re so sweet and so kind and you understand me.”

Believe it or not, right then, Taylor Swift’s You Belong with Me was playing on someone’s radio. “Would you like to go out with me tonight?”

“Yes,” she said tears almost welling in her eyes.

*          *          *

That evening, Sarah and Dave went to Bern’s Steak House. She thought a lot about how he had reacted to her that morning. It was nice to be noticed, but why do I have to add to myself to get attention?

“Why did you shave? I liked your beard and haircut.”

“Oh, hair is so disgusting. I shave my chest too.”

“I thought your beard made you look very...warm.”

“Well, look at you; you look beautiful.”
Is he implying that I was ugly before? I don’t think he really loves me; he’s just filling the gap Karolyn left; I don’t even think he really likes me.

“Not that you weren’t beautiful before. I guess. But now I can see you. We’ve both made so many improvements over the weekend.” I don’t think we are on the same page, Sarah thought, I just want to be myself.

“Would you excuse me?” Sarah asked. She walked to the restrooms, paused, and kept on walking right outside, deciding not to go back in or even care about Dave.

As Dave waited, Sarah went home and threw out all her perfume and hairspray and lip gloss and foundation and nail polish and all of her beauty products. She wondered if she wasn’t being a little crazy, then she thought about Dave sitting there at the restaurant alone. About fifteen minutes later, when Dave was sure Sarah had dumped him, and he was just leaving, in walked…

All of Sarah’s beauty products! The hair color, the eyeliner, even the lip gloss. Dave was so happy and relieved to see them.

“I can’t believe I was so stupid; I just couldn’t see what was right in front of my eyes. You were what I wanted all along.”

Sarah’s beauty products and Dave had a great evening, and went on to have a successful long term relationship. Dave even got over his fear of commitment; I hear the wedding is this fall at the Maybelline corporate offices.

Copyright © 2011 David S. Robinson. Any part of this work may be transmitted, preformed or otherwise used in any form, so long as 1) I am clearly identified as the author, 2) a link or URL to this site is included, and 3) no changes are made without my prior written consent.

p.s. Feel free to comment on anything you liked or didn't like. :)

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