Transcript from a Discusion about Church History Part Six

K: “…so I’m almost home when I hear the curfew bell go off, and I’m running home and I hear the Nuclear Warning Siren start to wail.”
P: “Uhha.”
K: “So, I barely make it home in time, and I’m just inside my front door and I’m panting and huffing and the curfew bell is ringing and the Nuclear Warning Siren is whining when—“
“This is a test of the Emergency Test System; this is only a test. This is a tri-quarterly, wisis-issued test, through your local city-state, of the Emergency Test System. The Chancellor of our wisis, on behalf of the National Director, thanks you for your cooperation.”


Copyright © 2011 David S. Robinson. Any part of this work may be transmitted, preformed or otherwise used in any form, so long as 1) I am clearly identified as the author, 2) a link or URL to this site is included, and 3) no changes are made without my prior written consent.

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Transcript from a Discusion about Church History Part Five

K: “Well, the Church officially decreed him the Antichrist.”
P: “There used to be this belief that there were many antichrists, sort of a spirit. Everyone from Nero to Hitler, even Titus.”
K: “Wasn’t Titus, I mean his sacrifice, considered aod?”
P: “When he sacrificed the ham. Many considered Daniel’s aod and…when there was only one, they thought, aod.”
K: “Yes, maybe that wouldn’t be so bad, that way of thinking.”
P: “Nnnih…”


Copyright © 2011 David S. Robinson. Any part of this work may be transmitted, preformed or otherwise used in any form, so long as 1) I am clearly identified as the author, 2) a link or URL to this site is included, and 3) no changes are made without my prior written consent.

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Transcript from a Discusion about Church History Part Four

P: “Most of them will burn in Hell; some will be told ‘go and sin no more,’ but most will burn in Hell.”
K: “Mmm…So, let’s talk about Hell.”
P: “Hell is the place of eternal torment described by the prophet Dante. Most people spend time, a lot, you know, the torments…and, never…yes, there is the fire, and the brimstone and the locusts, but what’s important is who is going to…going. Sinners and liars, idolators and adulterers, pagans, freaks, false gods, sodomists, whores, the rebellious, the unchurched, abominators. It’s just, you don’t want that.”
K: “Yes, and all those people are aod.”
P: “The seventy-third Universal Council defined entrance with aod.”
K: “Yes, and thankfully there is an aod list.”


Copyright © 2011 David S. Robinson. Any part of this work may be transmitted, preformed or otherwise used in any form, so long as 1) I am clearly identified as the author, 2) a link or URL to this site is included, and 3) no changes are made without my prior written consent.

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Transcript from a Discusion about Church History Part Three

K: “That’s why chicken should never be used in religious ceremonies.”
P: “No, exactly. That’s…that’s what. It’s just like those snake handlers.”
K: “Well, that was outlawed years ago as a heresy, along with animal sacrifice.”
P: “And chickens are becoming passé.”
K: “Well, it was mostly the rural, backwoods pagan areas that were using chickens like that anyway.”
P: “But I think codifying the Christian observances and holidays helped a lot with bringing churches into the mainstream of orthodoxy.”
K: “Yes, it’s so nice that Christians every where are coming to unity in the faith and unity in the knowledge of Jesus.”
P: It’s so nice celebrating the same traditional holidays that the early Christians celebrated…Christmas, Easter, Valentine’s Day, God Pride Day, and also worshipping the way they did.”
K: “Well do you remember when those Judaizers were trying to remove the ham from the Easter service? The ham has been a part of the Easter celebration since at least the time of Nero. It’s what the disciples called the ‘love feast.’”
P: “Wasn’t that odd? Trying to remove the ham?”


Copyright © 2011 David S. Robinson. Any part of this work may be transmitted, preformed or otherwise used in any form, so long as 1) I am clearly identified as the author, 2) a link or URL to this site is included, and 3) no changes are made without my prior written consent.

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Transcript from a Discusion about Church History Part Two

P: “So, when a lot of the Protestant leaders were being jailed—“
K: “Come on, you know they didn’t do it.”
P: “The, uh, ‘reformers’ or the Church?”
K: “Look, there was this great synergy between the Eastern and Western Rites.”
P: “Right. Especially with the writings of Dr….,uh…”
K: “Wright?”
P: “Wright!”
K: “Right. So, what about the Rites?”
P: “Well, he said in his theological treatise, Concerning the Right God.
K: “HAHahahaha…”
P: “…”
K: “Go on, sorry.”
P: “Well he said, like Luther, he said ‘what of the Greek Christians?’ which was eventually formalized as the Sixth Sola ‘Sola Ecclesia.’”
K: “Yes, and that whole section of Right God is really enlightening, particularly in regards to doctrinal disputes.
P: “I especially love his words on synods and councils.
K: “Yes, Wright really brought a lot to the table in bringing the Church back to its primitive roots and to the primitive testimony of Jesus Christ and of the Apostles.”
P: “Now, that also became, was included in the Universal Catechism, starting with the Twelve Solas and the Apostles Creed, and later a third-century document entitled The Teachings of the Apostles.


Copyright © 2011 David S. Robinson. Any part of this work may be transmitted, preformed or otherwise used in any form, so long as 1) I am clearly identified as the author, 2) a link or URL to this site is included, and 3) no changes are made without my prior written consent.

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Transcript from a Discusion about Church History Part One

P: “Everyone was super shocked when the Pope stepped down.”
K: “Yeah, and that was, what, fifty years ago – gosh.”
P: “I know; people who weren’t alive just can’t imagine what it was like before that.”
K: “OK, I don’t want to get too much into that ancient history; we discussed that at length earlier, but—“
P: “But you can’t understand these events without knowing those; that’s why when the Anglican and Catholic churches reunited—“
K: “Sort of buried the incense burner.”
P: “Yes. When they reunited, a lot of the focus shifted on to the Archbishop of Canterbury. A lot about whether…what he was doing, or what with this authority, and so on.”
K: “Right.”
P: “But that’s why the Protestant churches were very leery about the Church.”
K: “Even though some of them had began to coalesce already with things like the Reformation Counsel.”
P: “Yes, and Reformation II especially.”
K: “Ah, you’re getting a bit ahead; tell us about the Third Great Awakening.”


Copyright © 2011 David S. Robinson. Any part of this work may be transmitted, preformed or otherwise used in any form, so long as 1) I am clearly identified as the author, 2) a link or URL to this site is included, and 3) no changes are made without my prior written consent.

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The Shepherd Is My Lord

The shepherd is my Lord, my God;
I shall not disappoint him.
He makes me sit in wooden pews:
He leads me to be dumb.

He saves my life, restores my soul:
He leads me to be holy.
Though I walk through poverty,
I will give him money.

Your superstitious rules control me
In a sermon pointed.
In the presence of the throng,
You say that you’re anointed.

Sunday, your mouth runneth over,
Dogmas all my life.
But I will not dwell in your house
All of my long life.


Copyright © 2011 David S. Robinson. Any part of this work may be transmitted, preformed or otherwise used in any form, so long as 1) I am clearly identified as the author, 2) a link or URL to this site is included, and 3) no changes are made without my prior written consent.

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Hell and High Water

We promised ourselves
We’d find our promised land;
Through Hell
Or high water,
We’d find our way.
We followed you home,
But you lead us to Hell
And left us high
And dry.
You led us to victory,
Or so we thought,
But you got the victory,
And we got saliva
In our mouths
from hunger,
In our eyes
from hate.
And now it’s too late.

Don’t worry though;)
For your turn is next:)
‘Cause Justice is a noble cause,
Quick
Like sand that traps you,
So your injustice will devour you.
And drag you down
With us
To Hell.
And you will drown.
In your own high water.
On your own high horse.
Getting higher
With every puff
Of injustice.
Every piece of the puzzle
You swallow
To hide it.
You will choke on.
For Justice isn’t dead,
Nor does He sleep,
Injustice shall fail
And Justice prevail.


Copyright © 2011 David S. Robinson. Any part of this work may be transmitted, preformed or otherwise used in any form, so long as 1) I am clearly identified as the author, 2) a link or URL to this site is included, and 3) no changes are made without my prior written consent.

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Door to Door

CAST OF CHARACTERS 5 m, 2 f, unlimited number of extras: m and f

PASTOR RON- A middle-aged pastor wearing a suit with or without an ecclesiastical robe

VISITATION LEADER- A middle-aged church man wearing a plain shirt, tie, and dress pants

DAN- A judgmental, thirty-something, church man wearing a plain shirt, tie, and dress pants

CHARITY- A flighty, young, church woman wearing a plain ankle-length skirt and blouse, carrying a spiral notepad

HOPE- An emotionally-motivated woman wearing shorts, a T-shirt, and sandals

ATHEIST- A bitter old man wearing boxers and an undershirt, holding a beer

DANIEL- A twenty-something man with long hair wearing a T-shirt and ripped jeans

EXTRAS- Men and women dressed similarly to DAN and CHARITY

TIME: The present.


At Rise: There is a folding table set up with refreshments SR; on the wall behind it there is a banner with the words “Community Connection.” There are three doors set SCR, SCL, and SL: doors #1, #2, and #3 respectively. There is a pulpit SL of door #1 with some folding chairs DS of it. Lights rise. A spotlight shines on PASTOR RON standing at the pulpit SL.

PASTOR RON (to AUDIENCE): As a dog returneth to his vomit, so a fool returneth to his folly.

Light transitions onto table SR. DAN, CHARITY, HOPE, VISITATION LEADER, and EXTRAS are standing in varied places DS of table.

VISITATION LEADER: It sounds from all of your stories so far like the “Community Connection” Campaign is a big success. We'll have a big increase in membership, which means a big increase in funding for the new hi-def, 3D theater screens, and a lot of repentant sinners to rebuke. Can you imagine rebuking sinners in hi-def 3D? It'll be so enriching! So, Dan, Charity, tell us about your visitation tonight.

DAN: Well, the first house we visited...

(Lights transition from table onto door# 1 as DAN, CHARITY, and HOPE walk to door #1; HOPE goes behind door. DAN knocks on door; HOPE opens door, and DAN looks disapprovingly at shorts.)

CHARITY (Looks at notepad and flips a page): Hi, we're your neighbors. (Looks at notepad and flips a page) I'm Charity, and this is Dan. And you are?

HOPE (smiles): I'm Hope.

CHARITY: Oh it's such a spiritual name. (Writes name; slowly flips three pages as she speaks) We're from Fun Exciting Relevant Contemporary Truth Loving Refreshing Enriching Life Righteous Anger Serving Our God Money Community Church with a Hot Tub, and— (Flips page) we're just going out in the community to see what people's needs are.

HOPE: I'm OK, thanks.

DAN: Well, what church d'you attend?

HOPE: I'm...uh...between churches right now.

CHARITY: Oh it's fine. We have a casual, loving environment; we're very “between churches” friendly. It's no pressure at Fun Loving Refreshing Money Community Church with a Hot Tub, and Pastor Ron is so spiritual. Hope, it's been so enriching for me to find God's will for my life.

HOPE (pensively): I do want to know God's will for my life.

CHARITY: What do you like to do? We have lots going on at Fun Exciting Life Money Community Church with a Hot Tub. We have a golf course; we have a pony ranch for the kids; we have an annual dog show; we have God's fireworks every Fourth of July and New Year's. We have a Starbucks; we have a gift shop. We're currently working on getting theater screens for the sanctuary with 3D glasses for everyone. And we have a hot tub, right in the sanctuary. It's so enriching.

HOPE: That sounds nice, but I've been to a few churches that were all about money.

CHARITY: Oh I know! So many churches are like that. It's awful. Money Community Church with a Hot Tub isn't like that at all. It's so enriching.

HOPE: Really? It does sound like a nice place, maybe this church will be different. So you're just going around the neighborhood inviting people to Fun Exciting, uh...Community...Hot Tub? Can I come with?

DAN AND CHARITY: Sure.

(Lights transition from door #1 onto PASTOR RON as DAN, CHARITY, and HOPE walk to door #2; ATHEIST is behind door #2.)

PASTOR RON (to AUDIENCE): The full soul loatheth an honeycomb; but to the hungry soul every bitter thing is sweet.

(Lights transition from PASTOR RON onto door #2; DAN knocks on door; ATHEIST opens door, and DAN looks disapprovingly at beer.)

CHARITY (Looks at notepad and flips a page): Hi, we're your neighbors. (Looks at notepad and flips a page) I'm Charity, this is Dan, and, oh this is Hope. And you are?

ATHEIST (angrily): What do ya want?

CHARITY (pauses; slowly flips three pages as she speaks): We're from Fun Exciting Relevant Contemporary Truth Loving Refreshing Enriching Life Righteous Anger Serving Our God Money Community Church with a Hot Tub, and— (Flips page)

ATHEIST (angrily): I'm an atheist. (Closes door; DAN puts foot in door)

CHARITY: Oh we have lots of atheists at Exciting Relevant Loving Money Community Church with a Hot Tub; we're very atheist friendly.

DAN: Why're you so angry? Do you want to burn in Hell for eternity?

ATHEIST: Yeah, I do; that's where the beer is! Religion is just a crutch for the weak mind.

DAN: An' alcohol is a crutch for the weak spirit! Put away your alcohol and turn to God now! You need the Holy Spirit!

ATHEIST: My spirits are stronger than yours!

DAN: Blasphemy!

ATHEIST: Ha! I've backed you into a corner.

DAN: A glass corner that'll shatter. You're gonna burn in Hell forever!

ATHEIST: I will see you there! (Slams door) (Muffled shout through door) And get off my lawn!

(Lights transition from door #2 onto PASTOR RON as DAN, CHARITY, and HOPE walk to door #3; DANIEL is behind door #3.)

PASTOR RON (to AUDIENCE): Many will reject Christ on our account, throw baby Jesus out with the bath water, why? Because of our own hypocrisy, our spiritual vomit!

(Lights transition from PASTOR RON onto door #3; DAN knocks on door; DANIEL opens door, and DAN looks disapprovingly at DANIEL’s hair. Sound effects: loud rock music.)

CHARITY (Looks at notepad and flips a page): Hi, we're your neighbors. (Looks at notepad and flips a page) I'm Charity, this is Dan, and, oh this is Hope. And you are?

DANIEL: Daniel.

CHARITY: Oh we have so much in common; his name is Dan. (Writes name; slowly flips three pages as she speaks) We're from Fun Exciting Relevant Contemporary Truth Loving Refreshing Enriching Life Righteous Anger Serving Our God Money Community Church with a Hot Tub, and— (Flips page) we're just going out in the community to see what people's needs are.

DANIEL: That's good. Helping people is good.

Charity: Oh it's so enriching helping people.

DANIEL: I don't really have any needs right now—

DAN: What church d'you attend?

DANIEL: I'm not really into church that much.

DAN: You an atheist?

DANIEL: Not at all. I used to go to church with a friend in high school.

DAN: Well, you need to get plugged in. Maybe then you'll start listening to some good Christian music.

CHARITY: Daniel, it's so enriching listening to Christian music. At Exciting Relevant Contemporary Money Community Church with a Hot Tub we have CD's for sale online and in the lobby, and Pastor Ron is so spiritual. It's so enriching.

DAN: You need to find God's will for your life.

CHARITY: Oh it's been so enriching for me to find God's will for my life.

DAN: You need to get in a good solid church like Truth Righteous Anger Money Community Church with a Hot Tub if you wanna be ready. I believe The Rapture will be on October 20, 2011. Well, I've been wrong before, so there's really no reason to believe me, I just think it. Jesus mockers, homos an' lesbos, porno freaks, drunkards, Muslims, Buddhists, unsubmissive wives, money lovers, unloving husbands, thieves, rebellious children, liars, lazy Christians, racists, Mormons, fornicators, Roman Catholics, adulterers, an' baby killing women: God will judge you all!

DANIEL: Geez, why don't you make a sign and yell at people on campus?

DAN: I do!

DANIEL: I can't stand judgmental Christians. Churches should be helping people who need help, not harassing innocent bystanders.

CHARITY: Oh I know. That's why I'm so glad I'm a member of Fun Relevant Loving Money Community Church with a Hot Tub; we're not like that at all. We're all about helping people.

DANIEL: Really? What's Fun, Contemporary...uh, Church with a Hot Tub like?

HOPE: Exciting, Community Church with a Hot Tub is a wonderful place. There's a hot tub! And we really do care for the needy.

CHARITY: Oh it's so enriching.

DANIEL: Maybe I will try Contemporary...Serving, uh, Church with a Hot Tub.

CHARITY: Great!

HOPE: See you Sunday.

DAN: An' get a haircut!

(Lights transition from door #3 onto PASTOR RON, and folding chairs as DAN, CHARITY, HOPE, and DANIEL walk to folding chairs and sit)

PASTOR RON (to AUDIENCE): Let us bow our heads in prayer. (DAN, CHARITY, HOPE, and DANIEL Bow their heads) Lord, we beseech thee by thy infinite mercies to give us the strength and wisdom not to return to our spiritual vomit. Father, give us a hedge of protection around our hearts and minds that we may serve thee faithfully and not bow to the pressures of this life. And all God’s people said:

DAN, CHARITY, HOPE, DANIEL, and PASTOR RON: Amen.

PASTOR RON: And amen.

(Lights down.)


Copyright © 2011 David S. Robinson. Any part of this work may be transmitted, preformed or otherwise used in any form, so long as 1) I am clearly identified as the author, 2) a link or URL to this site is included, and 3) no changes are made without my prior written consent.

p.s. Feel free to comment on anything you liked or didn't like. :)

That Old Building

Some say that old building is haunted; others say that the figure seen inside is just the custodian. Whatever the figure is, a ghost or a janitor, I don't know, but I will tell of another version I heard from my pastor. "That old building" I mentioned is the one with the steeple, the stained glass, and the pews. That figure seen, according to my pastor, is God. On Sunday, God is in His prime. He fellowships with His children; He speaks through the pastor; once in a while he'll even work a miracle (as long as there's time in the schedule). Come Monday, however, everyone's gone, and He's left all alone. It's not that He doesn't want to be with them, but the disturbing truth is...

God is trapped in that old building! He can't get out! Some say He's there to protect Him from the outside; others say He's there by some command; still others say that the building itself has such a power that even God cannot escape. Whatever the reason, try as He may to go through a door, a window, or a wall, He cannot get out.

On Tuesday, a group of men is praying; they need answers fast, but God's ears are too dull to hear them. Perhaps if they'd come inside. On Wednesday, God sees some passers by. He cries to them, but the immense walls muffle His words, and the stained glass distorts His visage. They don't know whom He is. On Thursday, a woman prays in her house; she desperately needs healing, but God's arms are too short to save her, trapped in that old building. On Friday, two teens are trying to study the scriptures; they want to know God, but He's not in the Bible; He's in that old building. They can't hear Him through the walls. By Saturday, God gives up on trying to escape and waits for Sunday to come.

On Sunday, everyone comes back; they've all missed God so much that they make a decision: "Let's have our service here every day!" Consequently, most of them have to abandon their families and jobs, but God doesn't mind, because He was lonely all by Himself in that old building.


Copyright © 2011 David S. Robinson. Any part of this work may be transmitted, preformed or otherwise used in any form, so long as 1) I am clearly identified as the author, 2) a link or URL to this site is included, and 3) no changes are made without my prior written consent.

p.s. Feel free to comment on anything you liked or didn't like. :)

Parade

All are mummers
In a mummers parade
Floating through The Fall
Of ticker-tape.

Marching in line
Ready for inspection,
It’s a demonstration, but for whom?
Is the pirate krewe
The motorcade we follow?
The lawless ones
Who float to war so quickly.

What holiday are we celebrating?
Whose color do we guard?
And on whose stage
Are we riding?
Who is the twirler of that hallowed baton?
Does he approve our callithump?
For the wedding of the Nephilim root,
The iron and clay?
Is he a potter or a smelter of iron?

Copyright © 2011 David S. Robinson. Any part of this work may be transmitted, preformed or otherwise used in any form, so long as 1) I am clearly identified as the author, 2) a link or URL to this site is included, and 3) no changes are made without my prior written consent.

p.s. Feel free to comment on anything you liked or didn't like. :)