A Toasty Bed

George was a very patient man. So patient, in fact, that he rarely got up in the morning. One day he awoke to the smell of his wife’s toast, which is odd because she had left him many years ago. The toast was then burning, and George quickly realized that is was not toast, but a small fire.

“It’s only a small fire,” he yawned. Back to bed.

As the fire grew hot he gave a pause. Ah! He thought, free heating! He would have a lower gas bill this month, he reasoned.

Eventually he accepted the sweating heat and hacking smoke, it just seemed normal now. His bed soon caught fire. ah, a nice toasty bed.

When the house had totally burned down and he was totally burned (yet he had miraculously survived), the fire department finally arrived. As he sat in the hospital covered in bandages he asked the nurse “why are hospitals always so cold?” She shrugged.

“I miss my toasty bed,” he said with a sigh.


Copyright © 2011 David S. Robinson. Any part of this work may be transmitted, preformed or otherwise used in any form, so long as 1) I am clearly identified as the author, 2) a link or URL to this site is included, and 3) no changes are made without my prior written consent.

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Transcript from a Discusion about Church History Part Six

K: “…so I’m almost home when I hear the curfew bell go off, and I’m running home and I hear the Nuclear Warning Siren start to wail.”
P: “Uhha.”
K: “So, I barely make it home in time, and I’m just inside my front door and I’m panting and huffing and the curfew bell is ringing and the Nuclear Warning Siren is whining when—“
“This is a test of the Emergency Test System; this is only a test. This is a tri-quarterly, wisis-issued test, through your local city-state, of the Emergency Test System. The Chancellor of our wisis, on behalf of the National Director, thanks you for your cooperation.”


Copyright © 2011 David S. Robinson. Any part of this work may be transmitted, preformed or otherwise used in any form, so long as 1) I am clearly identified as the author, 2) a link or URL to this site is included, and 3) no changes are made without my prior written consent.

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Transcript from a Discusion about Church History Part Five

K: “Well, the Church officially decreed him the Antichrist.”
P: “There used to be this belief that there were many antichrists, sort of a spirit. Everyone from Nero to Hitler, even Titus.”
K: “Wasn’t Titus, I mean his sacrifice, considered aod?”
P: “When he sacrificed the ham. Many considered Daniel’s aod and…when there was only one, they thought, aod.”
K: “Yes, maybe that wouldn’t be so bad, that way of thinking.”
P: “Nnnih…”


Copyright © 2011 David S. Robinson. Any part of this work may be transmitted, preformed or otherwise used in any form, so long as 1) I am clearly identified as the author, 2) a link or URL to this site is included, and 3) no changes are made without my prior written consent.

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Transcript from a Discusion about Church History Part Four

P: “Most of them will burn in Hell; some will be told ‘go and sin no more,’ but most will burn in Hell.”
K: “Mmm…So, let’s talk about Hell.”
P: “Hell is the place of eternal torment described by the prophet Dante. Most people spend time, a lot, you know, the torments…and, never…yes, there is the fire, and the brimstone and the locusts, but what’s important is who is going to…going. Sinners and liars, idolators and adulterers, pagans, freaks, false gods, sodomists, whores, the rebellious, the unchurched, abominators. It’s just, you don’t want that.”
K: “Yes, and all those people are aod.”
P: “The seventy-third Universal Council defined entrance with aod.”
K: “Yes, and thankfully there is an aod list.”


Copyright © 2011 David S. Robinson. Any part of this work may be transmitted, preformed or otherwise used in any form, so long as 1) I am clearly identified as the author, 2) a link or URL to this site is included, and 3) no changes are made without my prior written consent.

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Transcript from a Discusion about Church History Part Three

K: “That’s why chicken should never be used in religious ceremonies.”
P: “No, exactly. That’s…that’s what. It’s just like those snake handlers.”
K: “Well, that was outlawed years ago as a heresy, along with animal sacrifice.”
P: “And chickens are becoming passé.”
K: “Well, it was mostly the rural, backwoods pagan areas that were using chickens like that anyway.”
P: “But I think codifying the Christian observances and holidays helped a lot with bringing churches into the mainstream of orthodoxy.”
K: “Yes, it’s so nice that Christians every where are coming to unity in the faith and unity in the knowledge of Jesus.”
P: It’s so nice celebrating the same traditional holidays that the early Christians celebrated…Christmas, Easter, Valentine’s Day, God Pride Day, and also worshipping the way they did.”
K: “Well do you remember when those Judaizers were trying to remove the ham from the Easter service? The ham has been a part of the Easter celebration since at least the time of Nero. It’s what the disciples called the ‘love feast.’”
P: “Wasn’t that odd? Trying to remove the ham?”


Copyright © 2011 David S. Robinson. Any part of this work may be transmitted, preformed or otherwise used in any form, so long as 1) I am clearly identified as the author, 2) a link or URL to this site is included, and 3) no changes are made without my prior written consent.

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Transcript from a Discusion about Church History Part Two

P: “So, when a lot of the Protestant leaders were being jailed—“
K: “Come on, you know they didn’t do it.”
P: “The, uh, ‘reformers’ or the Church?”
K: “Look, there was this great synergy between the Eastern and Western Rites.”
P: “Right. Especially with the writings of Dr….,uh…”
K: “Wright?”
P: “Wright!”
K: “Right. So, what about the Rites?”
P: “Well, he said in his theological treatise, Concerning the Right God.
K: “HAHahahaha…”
P: “…”
K: “Go on, sorry.”
P: “Well he said, like Luther, he said ‘what of the Greek Christians?’ which was eventually formalized as the Sixth Sola ‘Sola Ecclesia.’”
K: “Yes, and that whole section of Right God is really enlightening, particularly in regards to doctrinal disputes.
P: “I especially love his words on synods and councils.
K: “Yes, Wright really brought a lot to the table in bringing the Church back to its primitive roots and to the primitive testimony of Jesus Christ and of the Apostles.”
P: “Now, that also became, was included in the Universal Catechism, starting with the Twelve Solas and the Apostles Creed, and later a third-century document entitled The Teachings of the Apostles.


Copyright © 2011 David S. Robinson. Any part of this work may be transmitted, preformed or otherwise used in any form, so long as 1) I am clearly identified as the author, 2) a link or URL to this site is included, and 3) no changes are made without my prior written consent.

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Transcript from a Discusion about Church History Part One

P: “Everyone was super shocked when the Pope stepped down.”
K: “Yeah, and that was, what, fifty years ago – gosh.”
P: “I know; people who weren’t alive just can’t imagine what it was like before that.”
K: “OK, I don’t want to get too much into that ancient history; we discussed that at length earlier, but—“
P: “But you can’t understand these events without knowing those; that’s why when the Anglican and Catholic churches reunited—“
K: “Sort of buried the incense burner.”
P: “Yes. When they reunited, a lot of the focus shifted on to the Archbishop of Canterbury. A lot about whether…what he was doing, or what with this authority, and so on.”
K: “Right.”
P: “But that’s why the Protestant churches were very leery about the Church.”
K: “Even though some of them had began to coalesce already with things like the Reformation Counsel.”
P: “Yes, and Reformation II especially.”
K: “Ah, you’re getting a bit ahead; tell us about the Third Great Awakening.”


Copyright © 2011 David S. Robinson. Any part of this work may be transmitted, preformed or otherwise used in any form, so long as 1) I am clearly identified as the author, 2) a link or URL to this site is included, and 3) no changes are made without my prior written consent.

p.s. Feel free to comment on anything you liked or didn't like. :)